The supporting / giving-in orientation

For someone who emphasises this orientation in his/her behaviour it is very important to be a “good person”, to be nice to people, to feel a worthwhile human being – one who is doing his/her share to make a contribution, and then some. There is a strong belief that ideals and values are important, and that each of us can help make this a better world to live in. Thus what is of greatest concern is a sense of mission and purpose, and the desire to behave in such a way that one can feel he/she is living up to his/her best intentions and capabilities. Key to one’s efforts is the importance of not simply preaching but being – serving as an example for others, trying to be responsive and co-operative.

There is an inner sense of satisfaction derived from behaving in this way which goes beyond external recognition. One does not boast about personal behaviour requesting recognition although there will be good feelings derived from appreciation and acknowledgement of personal efforts. There is a basic willingness to believe in the worth and value of others – to be interested in helping people grow and develop. One becomes a member of a group and shares its goals and values, and should be dedicated to enhancing its welfare, expecting appropriate guidance and direction from leaders, preferably people who have personal integrity and earned respect through their competence. One believes that rewards will come from being earned – that a “good deed” will bring its just desserts. Ideals serve as standards. Thus one is always comparing self and others to those standards, hopefully meeting them through constant striving through improvement. Failure to meet such goals often leads to disappointment, disillusionment and guilt.

In conflict situations there is a desire to deal with the other person in a fair and reasonable way with the expectation that there will be reciprocity. There is little interest in trying to take advantage of the other person and great distaste and discomfort for emotional confrontations. Often, it is difficult to directly ask for something one wants or expects, hoping for the other person to recognise the need and gratify it. When pressed hard, the person relying on this orientation is likely to accede to the other person, without expressing reservations. Thus others will often feel that this person is easy to get along with. When crises arrive, such a person all too often tends to feel overly responsible yet is willing to seek and accept advice from others who demonstrate their expertise and mastery.

Typical behaviours:

• through listening to what people have to say,
• appreciating others’ abilities to solve problems,
• through providing resources necessary for others to get things done,
• through encouraging others when they meet difficulties,
• lending a hand,
• removing road blocks which may be in someone’s way,
• preparing the way for someone,
• being considerate of another person’s time or difficulties and not intruding with one’s own needs, demands, or burdening the person with additional inputs,
• anticipating the needs of another person and taking care of them in advance,
• co-operating and collaborating with others to expedite a task, make it easier, more enjoyable, etc.,
• providing the value of one’s experience and advice to facilitate progress (if requested),
• undertaking an assignment in a willing, wholehearted and dedicated manner,
• not helping, unless asked, but being willing to pitch in if asked,
• emphasises the importance of goals and values,
• providing assignments but not constantly asking for information about it,
• encouraging others to participate in problem-solving and decision-making,
• trusting others, and
• helping others develop.